Tips for girls that look like guys and for chubby women on fashion and how to get a Boyfriend!

Are you sure you look good, how many times do you look in the mirror and try to find the smallest blemish in your face, this might take a complete day gazing in the mirror like if it is a fucking magic mirror, well this might sound incisive but the truth is harsh!

So we start off the scratch!

I know women and girls can go to just any height to look good no matter how horrible and hideous they are, staying pretty is their foremost duty than just anything else, this includes breathing as well, spending ours in cosmetic stores makes them weary but they never cave in, if applying stuff and wearing over hundred layers of make up still don’t contribute any raise to their beauty and make them even uglier they head to the plastic surgeon.

So here are few tips for women who look like men.

Well the feature that counts the most is the face, always shave never forget to put a complete bowl full of foam on your face and shave it all the way through in one go repeat the process for at least 25 times, apply a bottle full of after shave and can even mix it in the bath tub which can later be used after you wax a ton of pubic hair off your body, now you must be wondering hair all over the body. Weird!  It’s true! Girls that look like guys have special features for instance “curly pubic hair all over the body”

After the bath, gargle with a glass full of dishwasher liquid to get rid of that horse voice,wear not less than 25 layers of make up, it must be directly proportional to the number of times you shave, try to hide the moustache line however it’s shaved but it’s quite apparent that you have shaved, if you have short hair, as a majority of guy-girls fail to grow long hair, wear a wig but not blonde if your skin is supper tanned this goes for black girls too, talk like you really are a girl oh yeah you are a girl ,wear skirts instead of pants to make sure that people find you a girl not a she male or a man but your legs must not be hairy this grosses out people easily, keep pulling the skirt up every time you see a guy around you( ignore this, if your legs are chubby!), try to look cute and sexually attractive but not like a boy , cat walk the way models walk on ramps not like a fucking raccoon, never approach a guy first or he might find you as a faggot looking for a gay partner there are chances that he will flee off, stand your ground and make sure that you are not looking like a guy by gaping into the hand mirror time after time, never forget to take the make up stuff with you and use it right when you feel that some guy is looking at you regardless of what he is actually thinking, if he continues looking at you for over 5 minutes start looking into his eyes and pull your skirt all the way up and keep a part of your sight on his cock, if it looks a bit protruding, you are done, get closer and initiate the conversation with him, during the conversation do question about his orientation and make sure that he didn’t find you a guy and fantasize a gay night with you, if not then go out with him, date him for a month or two, but never drag him to the bed because he is ultimately going to get freaked out so why should we let this happen, yup later try to make him feel like you are cheating on him with your brother, yup brother because there is scarcely any probability that you will get another guy to fall in your trap, screw himself all the way up and get himself deported to gay island, so your brother will be the perfect option to cheat on your so called boyfriend… if none of these tips works out, lash out on me in an email..

Here are some make up tips for whopping girls and women

Since you are monstrous, we know nobody likes you and you spend most of the time drooling over the food in the kitchen, all appalled about your body’s extraordinary size that’s not smaller than a fucking tow truck, you spend ages in the room and turn out to be an obnoxious fat emo and lock yourself up in the bath room time after time, you really need to calm down, if it’s not working out in real life, it’s about time to go online, make a new account on myspace. Yup! new not the older one because everyone out there has the consciousness about your real self and how ugly you are, on your new myspace profile enter your name as sexy sassy or sexy bitch or whatever but it must contain the word sexy, never use your real name so that your other friends don’t find you and reveal your reality to your newly found victims. Use a porn picture rather than your own pic as the default of your profile this is just for the effect  but upload your special photoshoped pictures that make you look like a skinny cam whore “absolutely ready to fuck”  in the picture section of your profile, dare to go out and buy tons of make up and a webcam , use the webcam when you think the guy is dumb and won’t figure that you are fat and hideous, increase the contrast and the brightness so that you look white but not sick and hide all the blemishes on your face, always touch your boobs and run your arms around your pussy to make the conversation  more sex oriented, blow kisses and keep asking him if he really likes you or not and you’re hot. If he says no then keep asking him until he changes his views, finally gets depressed and calls you hot that’s it, never go out with anyone you meet online because certainly he will run off.

Here are tips on how to get your pictures taken.

1. The restroom is the best place to get your pictures snapped.
2. Wear make up enough to cover your bulging cheeks.
3. apply a little lipstick, do not apply red lipstick because fat girls look like clowns with red lipstick it’s the truth try it out sometimes, you’re gonna quit lipstick that day and on
4. Apply a lot of mascara and look a bit like fat emo and wear emo goggles.
5. Never forget to make hand gestures while taking pictures, hands gesture add an extra feature to the pic, the observer will look more at the hand gesture than your body and face, this way you can easily conceal your chubbiness and ugliness at the same time.
6. Never wear pants, we already know that you can’t but never even think of  trying it anyhow, screw that

YA DIG?